My Journal Entries From Trek 2011.
July 18th, 2011
At four a.m. I got dressed in my pioneer clothes and carried my backpack to the car. I said my good byes to my dad and Cassidy – who was asleep – then me, Erik, mom, and Luke drove to the stake center. There we listened to some camping advice and then I said good-bye to Luke and mom. I was so nervous and I was so glad that Erik was coming too.
Our whole stake loaded up into six busses – we were number six – and as we were driving away Luke was jumping up and down waving his good-bye. I signaled that I love him and I took a picture of him and mom standing side-by-side. I am so thankful to them for all of their support and I love them so much! The night before Cassidy had said that she wanted to support me in any way that she could, I told her that she could pray for me.
Finally the buss starts to move. Luke and mom are waving with big smiles. I wave back until they are out of sight. I cannot believe that I am on my way to trek already! I am so grateful that God has taken my anxiety away from me for this trip.
“Thank you so much Heavenly Father.”
As the buss moves along I look out the front window – I am lucky enough to have the front seat and be able to sit with Erik – I see the early sun beams shining through the cracks in the clouds that cover the sky, it is so beautiful!
“Thank you.”
I hardly even notice that I am wearing a skirt! – I hate skirts and they usually bug me to death -.
“Thank you so much.”
The countryside is so beautiful with the random rock formations and the rivers and lakes and the beautiful fields of grass and the rolling hills. I like Wyoming.
“Thank you for this beautiful world.”
Erik and me sang camp songs and hymns for a long time – at one point we saw a small hill with a cross at the top, we sang ‘There is a green hill far away’ - until we ran out of songs to sing! Then I made bracelets to give out. I love Erik.
“Thank you for everything.”
So far I am loving the trip, and I am not nervous at all any more!
“Thank you so much Heavenly Father.”
After seven hours on the buss we finally get to walk! First we hear some missionaries speak and we were given two dog tags, one says ‘come feel your saviors love’ on one side, and on the other it reads ‘behold my spirit is upon you. . . and thou shalt abide in me and I in you, therefore walk with me.’ and the other dog tag said ‘Haven Beckstrand, Christina Forlander Trek 2011’ – Christina Forlander is the girl that I walked for on trek - then I gave one of my bracelets that I had made to my ma, she loved it. Now on to Martin’s cove. It was a hard hike.
We didn’t have any handcarts today and I find it easier to push a hand cart than it is to carry a backpack, and in Martin’s cove it blocks the wind – which was the whole reason the pioneers went there but it was so hot that day!
I was just about ready to die when we came to the sweet-water river. There one of the young men shared a pioneer story that made me cry.
Three boys carried three girls cross the river first as examples – or to represent the three pioneer boys that carried all the pioneers across – Erik was one of these boys and he carried me across being the third people to cross from our ward.
The water was extremely high this year – four years ago Erik said that the water was only one foot deep, but this year it was up to Erik’s waist, and he is six’ two”! – so they strung a rope across for the boys to hold onto while they crossed. Most people got carried in piggyback style and got soaking, but Erik carried me in front of him and only my feet and my bottom got wet – afterwards though I was so hot that I waded into the river until my knees were wet -.
One of my sisters had a cold and she didn’t want to get wet so my pa carried her up high enough that she didn’t get a single drop of water on her!
After we crossed I gave Erik a big hug and we helped push the only-handcart, together.
I felt the spirit so strongly and I was so happy.
“Thank you so much.”
Oh! I almost forgot to mention that on the Martin’s cove trail we heard two rattle snakes in the bushes, saw seven deer on the hillside and saw a black and yellow snake right in the middle of the road! That part was kind of funny though because the bishop and the stake president were in the front – then me and Erik – and they were talking so much that they almost didn’t see the snake! They stopped about three feet from it! Then they waited for it to go back into the bushes. It was funny!
“Thank you Heavenly Father for letting us all be safe.”
We walked six miles in Martin’s cove and then we got back on the busses and they drove us to the Willie rescue site – I saw nine more deer while on the bus - which is where we camped that night.
After the bus ride I noticed that the little picture of our family that my mom had hooked to the zipper of my backpack was gone! The little clasp had broken and so had my heart. I thought that it was very thoughtful of my mom to put it on my backpack and I didn’t want to lose it. I felt terrible. I prayed to Heavenly Father and said;
‘Please no! Please don’t let it be gone, I feel so awful for loosing it, please, tell me what to do.’ Then I felt unmistakable peace come over me, and the spirit said to me;
‘Don’t worry; everything will be all right if you trust me. Just let it go and trust me.’ So I did.
I stopped whining about it, I stopped thinking about it, and I didn’t worry about it. And I felt better. I felt peaceful.
That night there was a beautiful sunset! And we had a great dinner – I heard that on some of the first treks they had to find their own food and kill their own chickens and eat mush -.
I am so grateful that I am able to come on this wonderful Trek!
“Thank you so much.”
A few of the girls in my tent were very talkative and it took awhile for us all to get to sleep, but we did eventually.
19th
We woke at 7:00, packed up our stuff on the handcarts that we got and headed toward morning devotional. I was pushing the handcart from behind and before we even left the campground I stepped into a hole that I couldn’t see because of the handcart. I scraped my leg a little bit but that was all. From then on the people in the front of the cart would yell; “Hole!” or “Poo!” or “Big rock!” when ever there was one of these things in the middle of the road.
There were lots of holes that day so they would yell ‘hole!’ and then we would yell it for the people behind us then they would yell it etc. and you could hear it going down the line. It sounded funny.
After morning devotional we headed out.
We had two boys – both in my ‘family’ – that were on crutches, one had a broken foot and the other was recovering from hip-surgery. They both walked as mush as they could but we still had to pull them in the carts. And when we did other boys from other families would help us push our cart.
The wind was blowing all day and it felt so nice because there was no shade out on the open plains.
By lunch we had walked six miles and I had been pushing the handcart the whole way. - We were going about 3 miles an hour - the last four miles seemed to be the longest ones ever! They would keep saying just over this hill and four hills latter we saw the campsite.
We had walked 14.2 miles in all that day. I was so tired! Most of the girls got buckets and filled them with water to wash their hair with. I did too but I didn’t use any soap, the water was so cold!
As I was trying to eat my dinner a boy came up to me and said I looked lonely so he started talking to me – I was sitting by myself, but I always do because I don’t like eating in front of people -.
I didn’t want to eat in front of him so I just set it down, I wasn’t that hungry any way - we had snacks on the trail the whole time -. It turned out that he was my bishop’s nephew and he was in the Hidden Oaks ward - the one that shares a building with us -.
By the time my food was stale we saw storm clouds coming in fast with lots of lightning and thunder. The leaders said to get all the girls and women into the cars and trailers and all the men and boys in as few tents as possible squatting with their heels together - the safest way to sit it a lightning storm -.
Every one ran to fulfill the orders but me, I love the rain and I wished I could stay outside so I took my time but I didn’t go so slow that they would have to wait for me. Inside the trailer I made sure I hade a spot next to the crack between the door and the wall I could see the flashes of light and feel some rain and wind and we could all hear the rain on the top of the trailer. I longed to be out there but I knew it was too dangerous. The rain lasted 30 min.
“Thank you for the wonderful weather.”
When we all were walking back into camp we saw that some of the tents had left their windows and doors open, they were flooded, others blew over, and all but one of our wards tents were okay – I asked if I could help them but they were already finished by the time I had gotten there-.
By the time we got to camp we all had a 2 inch layer of mud on the bottom of our shoes, we all scraped them off with sticks or using the wood fence that lined the road.
We all fell asleep fast that night or they were just trying to sleep, because it was so cold!
20th
This time we got up at 6:00. The boys it the front yelled les “Holes!” and more “Mud!” today. There were mud patches everywhere! At one point there was a mud hole that was knee to waist deep. The carts had to stay on the trail because of the law but the people could go around it.
I volunteered to be on of the people to take our cart though the mud; I hitched up my skirt and started pushing with another girl named Brooklyn and two boys pulled in the front. I almost slipped in the mud and I got splashed allover with mud, I was going through bear foot because I couldn’t find my water shoes, but that was a mistake because there were rocks a the bottom and many people got cuts on their feet, I didn’t but the scraps on my leg from the hole yesterday stung so I did not go through the next three big mud bogs – but I wanted to -, Erik helped to pull the carts out on the other side - which is the hardest part, I was told - all four times. After the first one I was covered in mud and so was our cart. That was the only time my skirt bothered me the whole trip!
The wind was blowing so hard today! And it would blow sand in your face, it felt like you were being sand-blasted! I hade to use my bonnet’s visor as a shield for my face, but looking down gave me a sunburn on the back on my neck.
By lunch we had walked about seven miles and you could see one of the girls in our ward up ahead limping as she walked. She had run a 10k two days before trek, in bran-new shoes and had about five blisters before we even started! And she wore the same shoes on trek! By far she was the one with the most blisters in our ward.
The boys that were pulling my two ‘brothers’ tried and tried to get her to get in the cart and be pulled, but she wouldn’t. She just kept on walking – eventually on the last day she let the boys pull her the last mile into camp -.
Then we started up rocky ridge, which wasn’t very rocky at all – little did we know what was to come -.
Half way through rocky ridge they stopped us and made all the boys walk ahead of us while us girls had a talk from our young woman’s president and we sang ‘As sisters in Zion’ then we started to pull the carts again. The ‘woman’s pull’ had begun.
At first I thought ‘well this is easy, there are hardly ay rocks – and I had five ‘sisters’-. Then there began to be more and more rocks all the size of, well, big rocks – about two feet tall at times -.
It was still sort of easy though.
We came over a hill and we could see the boys in the distance, and I said to myself; ‘well that was short.’ then we went down the hill and started to climb the last hill to meet the boys at the top. The rock were really big by now, they looked like a giant had dropped giant, four feet thick plates broken and on top of each other.
The boys were lined on either side of the road and someone was playing a hymn on the fiddle. I kept looking down and focusing on the rocks ahead of us, when we saw one we would run at it and our cart would bounce over it behind us – we actually lost two bags off the back doing that but we got them back -. They still weren’t that herd to get over – maybe because Brooklyn was really strong, because whenever she let go we all fell behind - but I kept looking down any way.
One of the big rocks we went over forced me to look up for a split second, and in that split second I saw that all of the boys had their hats off and over their hearts – later I learned that no one had told them to do that, they all just did - and I could swear that most of them were crying. At that moment the spirit of the Lord hit me like a ton of bricks, but at the same time as light as a feather, and I felt the spirits of the pioneers helping us along, and I felt that Christina Forlander was there and that she was glad that I was doing this trek.
I didn’t want to stop puling, I wanted to keep feeling the spirit this strong but the bishop had a story he wanted to tell all of us before the boys started to pull again. The hardest part out of the whole woman’s pull for me, was stopping.
The bishop shared a story of one of his great, great – I don’t know how many greats – grandmother, who pulled a cart along with three other women across the plains. She had two possessions that she kept with her throughout the whole trek across the plains; her journal – which the bishop’s father had at the time – and her favorite pear of Sunday boots. Then out of his bag the bishop pulled, her Sunday boots, which he had been carrying the whole time in his backpack. I cried.
When we started to pull the carts again I made sure I kicked one of the boys off the front and I either pulled or pushed for the rest of the time.
And I continued to feel the spirit all day.
By the end of the day we had walked 14.8 miles and I was so tired, but I would not trade that experience for anything in the world.
No one complained the entire time on trek, not even the girl with all the blisters. And that really helped us to feel the spirit.
When we were walking into camp every one was saying; ‘where’s the bishop?’ well, we saw him coming toward us in the opposite direction soaking wet, with a smile on his face. We knew there was a river here and we all wanted to go lay in it but we did not expect this.
‘Did you get pushed in?’ someone asked the bishop
‘No I didn’t get pushed in,’ he said ‘I jumped in!’ I love our bishop! He is so active and fun!
After we all got settled, we all changed into dark T-shirts and Capris – at least the girls did – and then we all went to the river to find the bishop sitting in it again!
‘C’mon in!’ he said ‘it’s cold but it feels great!’ then he laid down with his arms spread out and, though it is only two feet deep, he started to float down river. He laughed.
I love our bishop.
It was cold! I got in any way though, but I didn’t wash with soap like every one else did. Your camping people! You’re supposed to be dirty! - I said that in my mind.
That night we had a testimony meeting, but my bishop and his daughter had to leave before it started because they had gotten a call – the leaders were allowed cell phones – that the bishops older daughter was going to have a baby that night! He had a big smile on as he was leaving. I said it before ad now I will say it again; I love our bishop!
I shared my experience of the woman’s pull during the testimony meeting, and I felt the spirit.
Afterward the second counselor came up to me and said; ‘I know we’re not suppose to have favorites, but, your testimony was my favorite tonight.’ And a lot of other people said that they liked mine that night too. I thanked the Lord for telling me what to say and for giving me the strength I needed to stand up and say it.
That night I put on my space-blanket but all it did was gather the moisture in the air and drop it on me! By midnight I had a soaking wet sleeping bag and I was freezing! To cold to sleep! Okay, I did get some sleep and was very grateful that I did. All I could think about were the pioneers and how cold they were.
21st
In the morning we got up at 7:30 and cleaned up the campsite and loaded our stuff into the trailers for the ride home. Then we got breakfast. But I didn’t eat it because that same guy – the bishop’s nephew – started talking to me again! Now he is a very nice boy and he is very respectful, but I was a little annoyed of talking to him and skipped breakfast that day – not just because he was talking to me though -.
When everything was all cleaned up we got sack lunches and boarded the busses.
I didn’t want to leave! In-fact, I felt more anxiety on the way home than I did on the way up!
“Thank you Heavenly Father.”
I stayed out side the bus as much as I could while we were waiting to leave.
I heard some one call my name and I turned to see our buss driver – he is very friendly and nice – come out of the buss and he handed me something, then he walked back into the buss without a word. I don’t know how he knew my name but I am glad he did because he handed me the little picture that I had lost! Some how some were he found the picture and someone recognized our family – it is an old picture-.
I was so happy and I said a ‘thank you’ prayer right then. And then I prayed saying; ‘I don’t want to leave, pleas let me take this spirit home with me so I can feel it always.’ the spirit then said to me; ‘You trusted me once and everything worked out, can you trust me again, that this will work out also?’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I will trust you.’
The whole ride home I was wishing that I could be walking instead of riding, and if I had gotten my way we probably would have walked all the way back to salt lake city!
Erik and me sang the whole time again.
When we pulled up to our stake center that day and I saw my mom I thought; ‘oh no, now I will have anxiety all the time again.’ but when I got off the buss I didn’t see her as my mom, I saw her as my guide or guardian, not my anchor or lifeline. Instead it was Christ who was supporting me, and that is the way it should be.
I told my mom my story of losing the picture and she said that the day we left she felt impressed to say a prayer to help the buss driver stay alert.
And Cassidy said that she had prayed for me every night. I love them both so much.
From that time forth my anxiety has been smaller, and I was able to keep feeling the spirit after I got home.
Trek was a wonderful experience for me, and I hope it will be for all of the lucky kids that have a chance to go.
I will never forget anything that has happened to, and for me in the last four days.
23rd
The next Sunday I decided to make and give bracelets to all of my trek sisters. They all said that they loved them. I love my ‘sisters’ so very much.
